HOW TANTRIC SEX DIFFERS FROM OTHER KINDS OF SEX ? | SEX EDUCATION | C H A P T E R 2
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HOW TANTRIC SEX DIFFERS FROM
OTHER KINDS OF SEX. A typical fantasy sex scene is conjured up in the mind. The setting is perfect;
soft lighting, light aromas. A man may be muscle-bound, physically strong, tall
and handsome, incredibly romantic, and a woman may be aesthetically beautiful,
slim with perky breasts, smooth skin, soft hair, wet and waiting. The sex itself is
spontaneous and powerful. He bursts through the door and she is waiting for him
in nothing but one of his work shirts. He gingerly picks her up by the waist and
she wraps her legs around him as he carries her to the bedroom to make love to
her for hours, but they are so impassioned that they don't make it -- and wind up
ripping into each other on the staircase on the way up. They both achieve mutual
simultaneous orgasm and collapse in a sweaty heap.
A typical run-of-the-mill sex scenario between a long-term married couple may
be that one partner is stressed from a long day at work and wants to get some
sexual release before heading to bed, while the other would rather just read their
book in peace, go to sleep unbothered and worry about sex some other time
when they are in the mood. In order to avoid conflict and disappointment, one
partner gives in to the others desires and the same old sex takes place in the same
old bed underneath the same old covers in the same old boring positions; eyes
closed and lights off... boring!
When sex becomes too boring and too routine, rather than being aroused and
looking forward to pleasing and being pleased, people "give up". They wonder
how much longer they have to engage in foreplay before it is okay to get to the
orgasm. Sometimes people also take issues from outside the bedroom into it,
maybe thinking "I'm still mad at him/her from earlier, why on Earth would I give
sexual pleasure right now"? Sometimes other insecurities and issues can come
into play as well. Maybe there is a problem with premature ejaculation so the
other partner rarely reaches their peak, and the focus is just on "getting the job
done" so they can move on to other more interesting and engaging activities (like
sleep)! Either way, if the sex exists at all, it is brief, goal (orgasm) oriented and
is over as quickly as possible.
Tantric sex, however, differs in several ways. First, a prior agreement is made
that time and space will be created for the specific purpose of nothing other than
connecting and being together at the moment. Second, a conscious intention for
reciprocal pleasure actually promotes excitement and increases sexual energy so
right from the outset the mood is set and reinforces the outcome. Third, being
fully present in the moment and being confident that there is no rush allows
space for spontaneity and creativity, reducing the likelihood of boredom. Finally,
caring communication enables vulnerability, which heightens closeness.
As there is no goal of orgasm, there is no pressure or pushing to reach the end of
the session -- only the goal of creating inten
OTHER KINDS OF SEX. A typical fantasy sex scene is conjured up in the mind. The setting is perfect;
soft lighting, light aromas. A man may be muscle-bound, physically strong, tall
and handsome, incredibly romantic, and a woman may be aesthetically beautiful,
slim with perky breasts, smooth skin, soft hair, wet and waiting. The sex itself is
spontaneous and powerful. He bursts through the door and she is waiting for him
in nothing but one of his work shirts. He gingerly picks her up by the waist and
she wraps her legs around him as he carries her to the bedroom to make love to
her for hours, but they are so impassioned that they don't make it -- and wind up
ripping into each other on the staircase on the way up. They both achieve mutual
simultaneous orgasm and collapse in a sweaty heap.
A typical run-of-the-mill sex scenario between a long-term married couple may
be that one partner is stressed from a long day at work and wants to get some
sexual release before heading to bed, while the other would rather just read their
book in peace, go to sleep unbothered and worry about sex some other time
when they are in the mood. In order to avoid conflict and disappointment, one
partner gives in to the others desires and the same old sex takes place in the same
old bed underneath the same old covers in the same old boring positions; eyes
closed and lights off... boring!
When sex becomes too boring and too routine, rather than being aroused and
looking forward to pleasing and being pleased, people "give up". They wonder
how much longer they have to engage in foreplay before it is okay to get to the
orgasm. Sometimes people also take issues from outside the bedroom into it,
maybe thinking "I'm still mad at him/her from earlier, why on Earth would I give
sexual pleasure right now"? Sometimes other insecurities and issues can come
into play as well. Maybe there is a problem with premature ejaculation so the
other partner rarely reaches their peak, and the focus is just on "getting the job
done" so they can move on to other more interesting and engaging activities (like
sleep)! Either way, if the sex exists at all, it is brief, goal (orgasm) oriented and
is over as quickly as possible.
Tantric sex, however, differs in several ways. First, a prior agreement is made
that time and space will be created for the specific purpose of nothing other than
connecting and being together at the moment. Second, a conscious intention for
reciprocal pleasure actually promotes excitement and increases sexual energy so
right from the outset the mood is set and reinforces the outcome. Third, being
fully present in the moment and being confident that there is no rush allows
space for spontaneity and creativity, reducing the likelihood of boredom. Finally,
caring communication enables vulnerability, which heightens closeness.
As there is no goal of orgasm, there is no pressure or pushing to reach the end of
the session -- only the goal of creating inten