Mum's burnout after striving to be the "perfect parent"
- 8 days ago
A mum who experienced burnout after striving to be the "perfect parent" has given her top tips to help others avoid the same fate.
Skye Edwards, 34, was a high-flying, career-driven woman who struggled with the transition into motherhood.
She found it hard to let go of control and felt overwhelmed by the conflicting books and advice on parenting.
Skye felt a pressure to fit her son, now four, into certain routines and to start him on formula milk.
She slowly realised the pressure she was putting on herself to be perfect was causing anxiety and burnout - and is something she labelled 'perfect mother syndrome'.
Now Skye prioritises self-compassion and has relaxed into motherhood - and helps others to do so too.
Skye, a trainee councillor, from Chelmsford, Essex, said: "I always had this fear 'you might mess them up'.
"Every single mother feels judged. No one wants to be a bad parent.
"But then you have issues with perfectionism. They don't know to see it's ok to make mistakes.
"There is a pressure to get it right to nurture our children to such perfection that leaves us little to no room to make any mistakes.
"We're going to mess them up no matter what we do.
"We may as well enjoy it.
"The mother I thought I was going to be before children is different.
"I wanted to have control. They are not a project for me.
"You lose control and you have to lean into it - that's not a bad thing."
Skye felt she had been able to "control" everything in her life before falling pregnant.
She said: "I was a high achieving woman. I had a good career. I was very organised.
"Life was in tip top form - or what it looked like on the outside.
"Everything was in it's order, in it's place.
"During the pregnancy I had this feeling of a lack of control.
"It was dawning on me I was about to be responsible for a tiny person."
Skye was excited to become a mum but overwhelmed by all the advice she read about parenting.
She said: "I have read every book under the sun about parenting.
"I was very well informed, educated on the emotional intelligence of raising little humans.
"It's a blessing and a curse. We're so much more aware."
Skye was very aware that anything she did as a parent would have a profound impact on her child and when she had her son in 2020 her mental health took a plunge.
She said: "I became a shell of a person.
"I was so desperate to get it right.
"I just felt like I was failing in every aspect.
"I felt like it was my baby and I against the world."
Skye says her relationships were impacted as a result and she cried a lot and struggled with sleep.
She felt a pressure to fit routines - and struggled with her son's sleeping issues that didn't fit the moulds she'd read about.
Skye said: "I felt pressure to fit routines.
"I felt pressure of moving onto formula. I felt pressure that they should be eating more or less."
Skye Edwards, 34, was a high-flying, career-driven woman who struggled with the transition into motherhood.
She found it hard to let go of control and felt overwhelmed by the conflicting books and advice on parenting.
Skye felt a pressure to fit her son, now four, into certain routines and to start him on formula milk.
She slowly realised the pressure she was putting on herself to be perfect was causing anxiety and burnout - and is something she labelled 'perfect mother syndrome'.
Now Skye prioritises self-compassion and has relaxed into motherhood - and helps others to do so too.
Skye, a trainee councillor, from Chelmsford, Essex, said: "I always had this fear 'you might mess them up'.
"Every single mother feels judged. No one wants to be a bad parent.
"But then you have issues with perfectionism. They don't know to see it's ok to make mistakes.
"There is a pressure to get it right to nurture our children to such perfection that leaves us little to no room to make any mistakes.
"We're going to mess them up no matter what we do.
"We may as well enjoy it.
"The mother I thought I was going to be before children is different.
"I wanted to have control. They are not a project for me.
"You lose control and you have to lean into it - that's not a bad thing."
Skye felt she had been able to "control" everything in her life before falling pregnant.
She said: "I was a high achieving woman. I had a good career. I was very organised.
"Life was in tip top form - or what it looked like on the outside.
"Everything was in it's order, in it's place.
"During the pregnancy I had this feeling of a lack of control.
"It was dawning on me I was about to be responsible for a tiny person."
Skye was excited to become a mum but overwhelmed by all the advice she read about parenting.
She said: "I have read every book under the sun about parenting.
"I was very well informed, educated on the emotional intelligence of raising little humans.
"It's a blessing and a curse. We're so much more aware."
Skye was very aware that anything she did as a parent would have a profound impact on her child and when she had her son in 2020 her mental health took a plunge.
She said: "I became a shell of a person.
"I was so desperate to get it right.
"I just felt like I was failing in every aspect.
"I felt like it was my baby and I against the world."
Skye says her relationships were impacted as a result and she cried a lot and struggled with sleep.
She felt a pressure to fit routines - and struggled with her son's sleeping issues that didn't fit the moulds she'd read about.
Skye said: "I felt pressure to fit routines.
"I felt pressure of moving onto formula. I felt pressure that they should be eating more or less."